Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Is a sex therapist right for you?

An interview with Dr. John Beiter, Sex Therapist, to determine if this is the right course of action for you.

A lot of people ask me, just what does a sex therapist do and how do I know if I need or could benefit from one?  The following represents a recent interview to help answer those questions.

Interviewer [I]: Can you summarize in one sentence who typically seeks you out?
Sex Therapist [ST]:  Couples and individuals who want to strengthen and improve their sexual relationship.

I:  Can you tell me the 3 biggest and most critical problems that your clients are facing?
ST: The three areas of most concern deal with an emotional connection that is missing; fears of intimacy; and being comfortable/vulnerable enough to communicate your sexual needs to your partner.

I:  How do you help individuals and couples resolve these issues and help them feel whole or connected again?
ST:  Couples and individuals learn to communicate daily to reconnect emotionally.  For example, couples can ask each other a “magic question” everyday in the morning and look forward to the answer later that same day.  An example would be – what are you looking forward to most in your day?  It should be about something other than the routine of one’s activities and not about family type issues.  Clients learn how to keep their partner’s “emotional love tank” [Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages] full which creates a more stable and nurturing foundation.  Clients are encouraged to take an anonymous and free sexual preference survey at to either discover or validate how they like to relate to their partner sexually along four different sets of intimacy.

I: What is the number one most relevant result you help your clients achieve?
ST: Couples and individuals who are serious and determined to live their sexual life to the fullest change their attitude from a performance-based sexuality to one that is based on pleasure, fun and intimacy.  This alone has been known to boost confidence and let the person[s] feel more comfortable in being vulnerable.

I: As a final question, besides finding solutions to the presenting problem, are there any other core benefits that your clients experience?
ST:  Couples and individuals achieve a closer, more intimate way of relating to one another and a deeper level of communicating.

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