The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People #2 - End Goal

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

Besides the Zig Ziglar quote pictured here, I like Tony Robbins quote – 'setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible!’  I encourage you to get a vision of what you want to look like or feel like and then never lose sight of it.  Make a picture board of images that represent your goal as a daily reminder to you of your destination.  Don’t give up on yourself – people that are successful are willing to do what unsuccessful people are not! 

The END GOAL in mind is like following a recipe.  If you are good at guesstimating how much needs to go in then you can “wing it” and get the results without a tight structure.  However, if you are one of those people who are more successful in following a stricter path, then by all means follow the directions – set a weekly workout and nutrition schedule.  This is all a matter of preference and one way is not necessarily better than an other when it comes to the results that you are looking for and will be happy with.  

The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People

If becoming fit is your goal then look no further to learn how to just [as the Nike ads read] do it!  

Becoming fit takes a personal commitment that no one else can do for you.  You can’t get others to eat better for you or exercise or sleep for you – only you can do it for yourself.  As someone who has been more or less fit his entire life, I feel I am somewhat of a subject matter expert on what it takes to get and stay fit.  

First let me preface, I did not come from a family who valued fitness or had “good genes”, but what I did have was determination and a willingness to make smarter choices regarding my overall health.  

As I reflected on those choices, I became keenly aware of some habits that all fit people share.  Borrowing shamelessly from Stephen Covey: The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People are:

1. Get started!
2.  End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

 My goal over the next seven weeks is to give you a little more information about each and everyone of these habits and how they may work for you.  My disclaimer up front is that this is nothing I invented or created.  I just gathered all the information into one place that will help you think through and adopt an attitude of getting yourself fit.  Remember fit is like one of those words such as normal where the definition that can be most helpful is the way in which you define it.  

With all that said, let’s take a look at the first and Get Started! 

GET STARTED

One of the most difficult steps for people to take when they have decided to change to improve their health is the first step.  Taking that first step is one of the biggest obstacles many people face in starting almost anything.  

The first step is about believing you can or as Henry Ford said – “whether you think you can or cannot, you’re right!’  So don’t delay – start today – you’ll be glad you did!  A friend of mine recently reminded me that the toughest piece of equipment to operate in a gym is the front door!   What helped me open that door was not wanting to feel the way I did anymore.  Rather than it being a practical decision, it became an emotional one.

Think about your attitude – do you have the right one to help you GET STARTED?  Attitude is something you choose – no one gives it to you and no one takes it away from you.  So think about how you can choose the best attitude for you that supports the direction you want to take to get into feeling the best about yourself that you have ever experienced.

Once you GET STARTED and you will be glad you did, you might be surprised to see how quickly one good decision leads to another like the laws of attraction always talk about.  You will attract many other healthy habits into your lifestyle just by – you guessed it – GETting STARTED!

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

Values in a Relationship

A client asked me recently to help him understand the value[s] of being in an intimate relationship with a woman and asked me to share my personal view.  I wished I had a tape recorder because he told me that what I said was extremely helpful for him to hear.  He then recapped very clearly and succinctly all the high points I had made.  I found his question very interesting in that I had never really thought about what my values were in my relationship but was willing to answer his request.  

I started by saying what I value most in my relationship with my fiancé was feeling secure and safe enough to be vulnerable with her.  I trust her unquestionably to be able to share my deepest, darkest fantasies and never worry that she is going to judge me.  I think I had more internal issues with being open than she had to accept what I shared.  

I value that we both feel confident, loved and not insecure that we can share openly our comments about other people that cross our paths and whom we find attractive, sexy and yes even stunning.  I value the trust between us and have no reservations in letting her handle our financial position.  

I value my fiancé’s awesome sense of adventure.  I know she is never pushing an “agenda’ to do what she wants to do but desires us to experience life together in ways that are fun and exciting for both of us.  We have an incredible way of snuggling together while we sleep that I truly value and miss when we are separated.  

Lastly, I value how I feel that no one else in my life has “my back” in every important manner more completely and unconditionally than her.  

It is not that we are without our differences but we find ways to be respectful and caring toward each other.  I taught myself a valuable lesson when I see her “pushing me” to get things done.  She is not being mean or nagging but always has my best interest in mind and wants me to be successful.  She works hard for me and I am not sure she knows how much I appreciate and love her for what she has done, and continues to do, for me.  My client thought she should have been there with us to hear what I had to say as he was touched by my words or as he said “how genuine I sounded when speaking about her”.  So…hopefully now she knows!

So take some time and think about it.  What are your values in your relationship and how do you express them to the one you love?

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

The Art of Conversation

– Spoken As Dialogue Heard As A Monologue

Recently I gained an insight into how some couples communicate.  My fiancé and I were out with friends when I happened to notice something different about the conversation.  As I sat there and listened to the wife explaining her feelings to her husband, I realized that even though he was hearing what she had to say by way of his eye contact with her, he made no effort to respond.  She then became so frustrated and looked at me, shrugging her shoulders exclaiming, “See, he has nothing to say!  Are all men like that?”  I took the opportunity to relate what I had witnessed and asked for confirmation from the husband, which he was more than happy to oblige.

I explained what I had noticed and could resonate with the discovery as it is something that I do as well.  Many times when men and women are communicating, with the woman carrying the lion’s share of the conversation, the man will sit patiently and listen to what is being said but not reply or respond.  She interprets his silence as he is not listening or that he does not care.  She ends up getting aggravated and he ends up with the “deer in the headlights” look.  His typical response...What?  I was listening.  Her retort…Then say something; anything, so I know you’re here!

I don’t know if it’s a guy thing or what but here is what I discovered

There are times when our partner is speaking – telling us what is going on.  She may tell him how she feels or something that happened with her family or at work.  He was listening for ways to contribute to the conversation and possibly was anticipating a question.  She thinks she is engaged in a dialogue, he hears no opening for a remark or comment, so he assumes it’s a monologue.  My friend jumped in his seat and exclaimed “that’s it!’ just like Charlie Brown did in the comics when Lucy was explaining something he was struggling to understand.

I think it is interesting to note how different we hear what is being said versus what was intended.  Our friends came to an understanding and agreement that night that whenever she is speaking, he would do his best to acknowledge and validate what he heard even if it was going to be a one word response versus silence.

How do you think you can contribute to your conversations with your partner that engages the two of you in a dialogue versus a monologue?

I am a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, who has offices in Troy and White Lake, MI.  Additionally, I host a Relationship Fitness Bootcamp at the Niles Center in Troy, Michigan – the next class begins on September 18, 2014.  To register visit TroyCEOnline.  I hope you’ll join me