Learning About Sex - From Science

Recently I finished reading my 21st book for the New Year.  My goal had been to read two books monthly – one business and one for pleasure.  As I am somewhat of an over-achiever, it still feels good to be ahead of the curve this month.  The book I just finished: Bonk by Mary Roach, deserves a 5-star rating as far as I am concerned.  It was funny, informative and highly entertaining.  It is one of those books you dread coming to an end.  She is a marvelous writer and excellent storyteller.

One of the points she made that really stuck out for me, and is the purpose of this blog, came as she was discussing the research Masters and Johnson had done on trying to tease out what researchers would label “amazing sex”.

I am going to take a giant leap of faith and guess that with the words “amazing sex” I got your attention, as it did mine.  Mary was interested in learning some special new technique that had eluded the laymen, but was only privy to the researchers who had combed through the work of Masters and Johnson.  Well she got what she was looking for.  It was not something new and wild but something most people who have ever been in a wonderful relationship have known.

What I found was this: The best sex [was experienced] by people who took their time.  They lost themselves – in each other, and in sex. They “tended to move slowly…and to linger at…[each] stage of stimulative response, making each step in tension increment to something to be appreciated…” They teased each other “in an obvious effort to prolong the stimulatee’s high levels of sexual excitation…Another difference was that the partners were almost as aroused by what they were doing to their partner as was the partner herself.”  

So here is your challenge – try to lose yourself in the pleasure and power of turning your partner on.  Take your time to become mindful of your partner’s level of sexual excitation and help her/him to expand her/his pleasure by helping to prolong it.  For those who want an even bigger challenge try talking more easily, often and openly about what you did and did not enjoy while being sexually intimate.

For more information on how you can improve your relationships, including your relationship with yourself, visit SexHealthDoc.com or CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.comhttp://CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com.

Two Behaviors That Will Help You Lose WAIST

I recently read an article by Art Caplan, PhD titled: It’s Not Genes: People Are Fat Because They Eat Too Much.  Caplan talked about a research study conducted by the University of Cambridge where the results indicated that constant and easy exposure to fast-food restaurants correlated to being diabetic or being fat. 

It sounds like such a common sense thing and yet so many people want to blame it on “bad genes”.  I really liked his point: “Genes certainly play a role in how people handle food, but if you live in a culture that overwhelms you with opportunities to eat junk food and fatty food, even the best genes can easily be overwhelmed.” 

He further points out that, “Bad food opportunities are everywhere...it’s easy, quick and dangerous.”

So if you are looking for a quick and easy solution to getting your weight under control, I have one.  But it is not simple because it requires time and for you to stop engaging in two very undesirable behaviors. 

1.      Stop eating after your dinner, which I assume for most people can be done any 7:30 PM.  If you feel you must have something to eat, then find a fruit or vegetable that you enjoy. 

2.      Stop eating what I call purposeful sugars, such as cakes, cakes, cookies, candies and ice creams. 

If you can change these two behaviors consistently you will start to see your waist get smaller at a minimum, you will probably experience weight loss, cleaner blood, and so much more.  You don’t have to do this forever but it should become the rule and not the exception. 

Of course you can have a day – not days – where you treat yourself but you might just be surprised that once you give it up you may not want to go back because of the amazing way it makes you feel.

For more information on how you can improve your relationships, including your relationship with yourself, visit SexHealthDoc.com or CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com

Six weird ways to loose weight

(Reprinted from Consumers Choice Health Newsletter published May 22, 2014)

Summer is almost here, and if you're like most people, you're scrambling to get your best summer body. You're not alone!  We all know that diet and exercise are tried and true ways to drop pounds.  But what you probably didn't know are the following 6 weird ways to lose weight that actually work.

1. A recent study published in the journal Appetite found that people who eat from red plates tend to eat less than people who eat from other colors. And it doesn't have anything to do with the color of the food or the way it contrasts with the color of the plate… it's specifically the color red that causes people to consume less.
2. Here's a neat trick French women are using to eat less… Next time you sit down to a meal, tie a piece of ribbon around your waist, under your clothes. This helps you stay conscious of your tummy, especially if the ribbon starts to get tighter as you eat!
3. A study conducted by researchers from Cornell and Binghamton Universities found that paying for food with cash instead of your credit card can help you eat less and make better food choices. That's because when you pay with your credit card, you'll be more likely to impulse buy junk food and other things that are bad for you. Instead, withdraw enough cash to last you the day and leave your plastic at home.
4. According to Dr. Alan R. Hirsch of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, people who sniffed apples, bananas, or peppermint throughout the day ate less than people who did not. The sniffers also lost an average of 30 pounds more than the non-sniffers!
5. Hang a mirror across from your table. Studies have shown that people who eat in front of a mirror tend to consumer a full third less food than those who do not. Looking yourself in the eye as you eat is a great way to remind you of your goals and desire to lose weight.
6. Brush your teeth with a mint-flavored toothpaste after you eat.  The minty taste will actually trigger your brain into thinking the meal is over, which helps turn off food cravings.  Plus, the scent of mint helps suppress your appetite!

For more information on how you can improve your relationships, including your relationship with yourself, visit SexHealthDoc.com or CrosstheFinishLineCoaching.com.

Success = Put first things first

Building a business in a new state can sometimes feel frustrating and overwhelming.  Any business building can feel that way at times.

I want to be successful in developing two areas of business that I feel equally passionate about. One involves coaching executives to create, maintain and foster stronger relationships both professionally and personally. The other area involves working in a therapeutic setting to help individuals and couples create deeper bonds of connection and intimacy in their relationships.

Part of my daily ritual is to learn by reading something new and hopefully, useful in my life, either personally or professionally or both. Recently, I read Stephen Covey’s world famous – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. While learning about habit 3 – Put first things first – he discussed an ingredient for success that he had read. He said that “successful people do what others who are not successful will not do!” As I thought about this statement, I reflected on two specific examples in my life where this really resonated for me.

The first area was achieving my doctorate degree. I know many people who were never able to finish the journey and enjoy the success. Unfortunately, these individuals gave up and stopped “doing”. After graduating, I researched completion rates for doctoral programs and was very surprised to learn about the high attrition rates experienced by many universities.

The second area that I reflected on, and one that I work at daily, is keeping myself physically fit. An interesting note is that others who have seen me recently have commented how fit I look. I attribute it to the fact that I lost waist and not necessarily weight. I was successful at losing my waist because of what I have been willing to do that many others cannot. I became determined to change two behaviors – one is to stop eating after my dinner and the second was to stop eating – what I called purposeful sugar products, e.g. ice cream, cookies, candies, cake…etc.

Being successful, like Covey reminds us is about putting first things first. If you want to achieve a goal, you have to take steps in that direction everyday – even and especially on, the days you do not feel like doing them.

What steps have you taken today to reach your goal of being successful?

For information visit: SexHealthDoc.com or CrossTheFinishLineCoaching.com.