From my therapeutic practice I see a lot of couples who feel they have become just roommates, as if they are living with their best friend. So when E. L. James popular trilogy – The 50 Shades of Grey burst on the scene, it was like a breath of much needed, and welcomed, fresh air despite its sometimes controversial subject. Why is it that this Shades Trilogy has become so wildly popular? As a Certified Sex Therapist, here are four of my thoughts on that:
One - Christian, while appearing confident and self-assured, has an inner turmoil that women want to help heal/mend/resolve through their love [a reverse fantasy of sorts where the woman gets to play the heroine]...being super-rich doesn't hurt the mix either :-)
Two - Many women can and want to relate to the not-so-perfect Anastasia character and through this identification they feel they are granted permission to accept and express their own erotic thoughts, desires and fantasies.
Three - The Shades Trilogy has encouraged women to appreciate their own sexual longings and realize that there is no harm in being physically turned-on by the book. It does not mean they have to act out on their fantasies/desires but feeling turned on by them can be pleasurable all on its own.
Four - Many people claim they want a more adventurous sex life – if even in fantasy - and this grants them permission.
Whatever your reason for enjoying the trilogy, I would encourage you to share what you like best about it with your partner and use it as a means to further develop deeper bonds of intimacy with one another. We will explore sexual fantasy in the next blog.