From my therapeutic practice I see a lot of couples who feel they have become just roommates, as if they are living with their best friend. So when E. L. James popular trilogy – The 50 Shades of Grey burst on the scene, it was like a breath of much needed, and welcomed, fresh air despite its sometimes controversial subject. Why is it that this Shades Trilogy has become so wildly popular? As a Certified Sex Therapist, here are four of my thoughts on that:
One - Christian, while appearing confident and
self-assured, has an inner turmoil that women want to help heal/mend/resolve
through their love [a reverse fantasy of sorts where the woman gets to play the
heroine]...being super-rich doesn't hurt the mix either :-)
Two - Many women
can and want to relate to the not-so-perfect Anastasia character and through
this identification they feel they are granted permission to accept and express
their own erotic thoughts, desires and fantasies.
Three - The Shades Trilogy has encouraged women to
appreciate their own sexual longings and realize that there is no harm in being
physically turned-on by the book. It does not mean they have to act out
on their fantasies/desires but feeling turned on by them can be pleasurable all
on its own.
Four - Many
people claim they want a more adventurous sex life – if even in fantasy - and
this grants them permission.
Whatever your
reason for enjoying the trilogy, I would encourage you to share what you like
best about it with your partner and use it as a means to further develop deeper
bonds of intimacy with one another. We
will explore sexual fantasy in the next blog.
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