Monday, June 23, 2014

Learning About Sex - From Science

Recently I finished reading my 21st book for the New Year.  My goal had been to read two books monthly – one business and one for pleasure.  As I am somewhat of an over-achiever, it still feels good to be ahead of the curve this month.  The book I just finished: Bonk by Mary Roach, deserves a 5-star rating as far as I am concerned.  It was funny, informative and highly entertaining.  It is one of those books you dread coming to an end.  She is a marvelous writer and excellent storyteller.

One of the points she made that really stuck out for me, and is the purpose of this blog, came as she was discussing the research Masters and Johnson had done on trying to tease out what researchers would label “amazing sex”.

I am going to take a giant leap of faith and guess that with the words “amazing sex” I got your attention, as it did mine.  Mary was interested in learning some special new technique that had eluded the laymen, but was only privy to the researchers who had combed through the work of Masters and Johnson.  Well she got what she was looking for.  It was not something new and wild but something most people who have ever been in a wonderful relationship have known.

What I found was this: The best sex [was experienced] by people who took their time.  They lost themselves – in each other, and in sex. They “tended to move slowly…and to linger at…[each] stage of stimulative response, making each step in tension increment to something to be appreciated…” They teased each other “in an obvious effort to prolong the stimulatee’s high levels of sexual excitation…Another difference was that the partners were almost as aroused by what they were doing to their partner as was the partner herself.”  

So here is your challenge – try to lose yourself in the pleasure and power of turning your partner on.  Take your time to become mindful of your partner’s level of sexual excitation and help her/him to expand her/his pleasure by helping to prolong it.  For those who want an even bigger challenge try talking more easily, often and openly about what you did and did not enjoy while being sexually intimate.

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