This is the 5th question in my survey and asks:
5. Do you prefer sexual partners who:
(A) are romantic, or
(B) express excitement through touch?
This question teases out the subtle differences between men and women. It may surprise you to know that the majority of women [59%] along with the possible less surprising fact that men [79%] prefer a tactile preference, i.e. they like to touch. The survey respondents highlight that for both men and women the need for romance while truly important for some, is not the default. The cultural messages that permeate would have us believe that romance is a primary consideration when dealing with women but that is not what the results point out.
In the book – Men Are Slobs, Women Are Neat, authors Alyn and Phillips talk about what happens when you strip away gender stereotypes, they claim that “Women are surrounded by messages that say all women need romance…[yet] some women aren’t naturally romantic…our culture tells men that being romantic or desiring romance is not macho, so many men will just stuff their desires.” The results of the survey for men clearly emphasize what Alyn and Phillips wrote. So is it a matter of social conditioning that have men answer the way they do?
Again as a reminder using the survey as a communications tool, I suggest you have a discussion with your partner as to his or her response to this question. Really explore your reason for answering the way you did. Is it possible that you see one of theses responses as less valuable than the other and if so why? Make it fun as you inquire and learn more intimate details of your relationship, which should result in more pleasure for the two of you!