This is the 6th question in my survey and asks:
6. What more often rules your desire, your:
(A) emotions, or
(B) physical urges?
This is the first question where an almost reciprocating difference between male and females emerge. 35% of the men and 60% of the women responded that they are ruled by their emotions. The flip side is that 65% of the men and 40% of the women are motivated by their physical urges. This is one of those questions that you could interpret through the lens of masculinity and femininity without assigning it to gender roles. Physical urges are the realm of the masculine and the emotional urges are that of the feminine.
However, when we think about emotions and how they are expressed research has suggested that women are more prone to talk about what they are thinking and feeling and to demonstrate with facial expressions, gestures and body language. Men on the other hand have been conditioned to process their emotions inwardly. Some men fear their own emotions considering them a sign of weakness and therefore bury them in order to protect themselves. So maybe there is no surprise in how the numbers of this question shook out.
One last thought on how this question gets answered by men may have to do with how they are conditioned around sex in general. Bernie Zilbergeld wrote in The New Male Sexuality that boys come into their sexuality around three prongs: it’s a secret event; it’s a private event; and it’s impersonal. Whatever starts a boy’s sexual engine is rarely associated with emotion and relationship other than with oneself. So it would appear the physical connection is made early on and then is reinforced throughout his formative years.
Again as a reminder using the survey as a communications tool, I suggest you have a discussion with your partner as to his or her response to this question. Really explore your reason for answering the way you did. Is it possible that you see one of theses responses as less valuable than the other and if so why? Make it fun as you inquire and learn more intimate details of your relationship, which should result in more pleasure for the two of you!