Tuesday, November 21, 2017

BSPI Question 17

What’s Your Sexual Preference?


         Found at:

 This is the 17th question in my survey and asks:


17.  In your sexual encounters, do you

(A)  enjoy feeling a sense of urgency, or

(B)  hold back if feeling any sense of urgency?


The majority of respondents do not enjoy feeling a sense of urgency.  While 32% of the men were in favor of such a feeling, only 20% of the women responded positively. 


For many men, feeling of a sense of urgency, especially from their partners, has been a catalyst for them to seek professional help when they have reacted unfavorably.  Men have reported that feeling a sense of urgency has impeded their ability to perform.  Unfortunately too many cultural messages pervade that sex is about performance.  It is reinforced constantly from the unrealistic view of sexuality that is pervasive in the pornography industry to the advertisements that bombard the male psyche from the pharmaceutical companies specializing in the erectile dysfunction [ED] medications.  One notable tag line is “be ready when the time is right!”  One not familiar with what 

ED medications are for might question – “what does ready mean?”  It is clearly about performing. 


Given the disparity in the responsibilities for the house and family between women and men might lead us to conclude why 80% of the women hold back if feeling any sense of urgency.  Sex can be just one more thing to be checked off of an already too long list of things to take care of in addition to maintaining a career outside the home.  Another reason is that urgency often translates into “stress” when too few resources [i.e. time] are available, not to mention the energy required to make sex enjoyable. 


This question presents with an excellent opportunity to open the dialogue around sexual matters and, like the previous question about sexual wants, provides the space to talk about what you really need from your partner. 


Men responded A=32 / H=68

Women A=20 /  H=80


To take the BSPI Survey visit: 

 For the Beiter Sex Intimacy Indicator Survey visit:

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