Friday, December 15, 2017

BSPI Question 19

What’s Your Sexual Preference? 

This is the 19th question in my survey and asks: 


  1. Do you find it 

  1. (A) easy to communicate your sexual needs and desires, or [D] 

  1. (B) difficult to communicate your sexual needs and desires? [S] 


Among women and men only 45% and 52% respectively find it easy to communicate their sexual needs and/or desires.  What makes it so difficult for so many people?  Communication, communication, communication!!! When you research the origins of the word communication what you learn is that it means to ‘make something common’ and ‘sharing’, i.e. make a community. 

One way to explain the difficulties communicating about sex is that the word ‘common’ is subjective.  In other words, not everyone thinks about sex the same way.  Many people identify sex as only intercourse and that can lead to understanding sex as goal oriented and thus performance based.  This represents a real opportunity to start the discussion with your significant other.  Start asking some questions – what does sex mean to you?  What do want to get out of sex?  How can we make sex more pleasurable, fun and intimate?  One of the best ways to get comfortable communicating about sex is to start a dialogue.  You can use my survey to explore and most of all – have fun! 

 To take the BSPI Survey visit: 

 For the Beiter Sex Intimacy Indicator Survey visit:

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