Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Improving your marriage from the time you say ‘I do’

To maintain a happy, healthy relationship, I suggest you concentrate on the small things in your relationship that are often overlooked.  I like to use the metaphor of a garden when describing how husbands and wives can enjoy a lifetime of being connected and close.  You need to work the land - nothing happens if you just plant the seeds.  You need to till the ground, remove the weeds and nourish the soil.  Relationships are the same; they need our attention and nurturing.  

Learn to speak your partner’s love language and perform random acts of kindness.  In all conversations, it is a good practice to seek first to understand, then be understood!  And try not to take each other for granted.  Again it is a good practice to share with your spouse one thing that you are grateful for with her or him.  

The following is a short list of ways to keep intimacy alive and the flame burning brightly between the two of you:

  • Every time you kiss your partner – take your time, especially in the morning and in the evening.
  • Hold hands in the car, on a walk, while you are shopping.
  • Massage parts of your partner’s body – shoulders, arms, back, hands.
  • Keep a “play” date on your calendar with your partner and have fun!
  • Pick a song that has meaning to your relationship and play it while your holding your partner’s hands and looking into their eyes.
  • Consider showering or bathing together – bubbles are your friends!
  • Pick a question to ask each other on a daily basis – such as “what are you looking forward to most in your day today?
  • Surprise your partner with an affectionate gesture in the quiet moments of your day together.
  • The next time you have a conversation with your partner, look into their eyes and pay close attention – do not try to solve anything but just listen.
  • Text your partner a thoughtful, even “sweet” message during the day away from him or her.
  • Set a scene for intimacy – ditch the cell phone, play some music you both enjoy, light a scented candle.

For more information or to schedule a conversation with Dr. Beiter visit:

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