Improving your marriage from the time you say ‘I do’
To maintain a happy, healthy relationship, I suggest you concentrate on the small things in your relationship that are often overlooked. I like to use the metaphor of a garden when describing how husbands and wives can enjoy a lifetime of being connected and close. You need to work the land - nothing happens if you just plant the seeds. You need to till the ground, remove the weeds and nourish the soil. Relationships are the same; they need our attention and nurturing.
Learn to speak your partner’s love language and perform random acts of kindness. In all conversations, it is a good practice to seek first to understand, then be understood! And try not to take each other for granted. Again it is a good practice to share with your spouse one thing that you are grateful for with her or him.
The following is a short list of ways to keep intimacy alive and the flame burning brightly between the two of you:
- Every time you kiss your partner – take your time, especially in the morning and in the evening.
- Hold hands in the car, on a walk, while you are shopping.
- Massage parts of your partner’s body – shoulders, arms, back, hands.
- Keep a “play” date on your calendar with your partner and have fun!
- Pick a song that has meaning to your relationship and play it while your holding your partner’s hands and looking into their eyes.
- Consider showering or bathing together – bubbles are your friends!
- Pick a question to ask each other on a daily basis – such as “what are you looking forward to most in your day today?
- Surprise your partner with an affectionate gesture in the quiet moments of your day together.
- The next time you have a conversation with your partner, look into their eyes and pay close attention – do not try to solve anything but just listen.
- Text your partner a thoughtful, even “sweet” message during the day away from him or her.
- Set a scene for intimacy – ditch the cell phone, play some music you both enjoy, light a scented candle.
For more information or to schedule a conversation with Dr. Beiter visit: SexHealthDoc.com