Why 50 Shades of Grey is so Popular With Women

From my therapeutic practice I see a lot of couples who feel they have become just roommates, as if they are living with their best friend.  So when E. L. James popular trilogy – The 50 Shades of Grey burst on the scene, it was like a breath of much needed, and welcomed, fresh air despite its sometimes controversial subject.   Why is it that this Shades Trilogy has become so wildly popular?  As a Certified Sex Therapist, here are four of my thoughts on that:

 One - Christian, while appearing confident and self-assured, has an inner turmoil that women want to help heal/mend/resolve through their love [a reverse fantasy of sorts where the woman gets to play the heroine]...being super-rich doesn't hurt the mix either :-)

 Two - Many women can and want to relate to the not-so-perfect Anastasia character and through this identification they feel they are granted permission to accept and express their own erotic thoughts, desires and fantasies.  

 Three - The Shades Trilogy has encouraged women to appreciate their own sexual longings and realize that there is no harm in being physically turned-on by the book.  It does not mean they have to act out on their fantasies/desires but feeling turned on by them can be pleasurable all on its own. 

 Four - Many people claim they want a more adventurous sex life – if even in fantasy - and this grants them permission.

Whatever your reason for enjoying the trilogy, I would encourage you to share what you like best about it with your partner and use it as a means to further develop deeper bonds of intimacy with one another.  We will explore sexual fantasy in the next blog.

The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People #7 - Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

BECOME A STUDENT OF FITNESS

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in! 

I encourage you to learn whatever you can about your health and fitness.  Read blogs on the Internet, magazines and watch documentaries on how others have managed to make fitness a habit in their lives.  Well known body-builder - Arnold Schwarzenegger was often quoted –“The mind always fails first, not the body.  The secret is to make your mind work for you, not against you.”

There have been so many discoveries made through science and research into the mechanics of how the body operates and functions.  Consider exploring information around anabolic heart rate, cardio workouts, yoga and many, many more.  Think about what you are learning and develop a system to record it.  Possibly carry a journal that you use to capture some of the best practices you are learning.  

Remember to take a holistic approach to your education.  Know the basics about nutrition, exercise and sleep.  Develop an understanding of your body and when the best times are for you to engage in certain activities.  Some people are morning folks and function best when first waking up, while others use the end of the day to workout the stresses of the day.  There is no right or wrong here – it is just a matter of preferences.

I hope you have found The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People to be an inspiration for you to become fit.  Your feedback is always welcome!

The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People #6 - Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in! 

This concept as it relates to fitness, is best described when one looks at team sports.  A team can never expect to be the best unless all are growing in the same direction.  In Daniel James Brown’s – The Boys In The Boat – it was all rowing together in the same direction or what he referred to as getting into their ‘swing’.  Many people that are fit like to workout with others that have similar interests and are usually a very welcoming bunch to anyone just trying to get in shape.  Keep the energy positive around you and run, don’t walk from any negative people in your life that will compromise your goals.

Consider finding a workout buddy – someone who you can count on to help push you forward when you don’t feel like it and vice versa.  The research says that people will usually push themselves harder when they are working with another person.  I did a body building competition with my son a few years back when I turned 55 and he turned 22.  He was certainly a huge inspiration for me and without realizing it pushed me to work harder than I ever imagined possible and I am proud of the accomplishment.

You are never to old to learn and of course, to teach.  Again, I had to take direction from my son to get in the best shape I ever experienced in my life.  I adopted the attitude that when the student is ready to learn the teacher will appear – so be ready if that is your goal!

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People #5 - Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in! 

A lot of us refuse to listen to what our bodies have to tell us.  The easiest examples are around alcohol and caffeine.  Many people I have talked to through the years told me that their bodies get really “sick” when they drink too much or consume too much coffee.  Instead of listening to the body signals, they ignore it and keep on going until they become dependent.  

Our bodies talk to us all the time about nutrition, exercise and rest.  It becomes a conscious effort whether we choose to listen or not.  For example, think about all the warning signals you get from exercise.  If you continue to push yourself after a strain, it could develop into a sprain or worse an internal tear. 

It’s important to change our attitude when our body is speaking to us.  Think of the metaphor of your automobile’s engine – there are gauges to help you know what is going on.  For example, oil pressure, temperature and fuel.  You have learned to read those gauges as warnings that you need to take action and your body is no different.  You use it hard and if you don’t bother with proper nutrition or rest, and it will stop running altogether.

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

7 habits of highly fit people #4 - Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

Fit people know the benefits of healthy nutritional choices, coupled with exercise and sleep.  There is so much research coming out on the effects of too little sleep or sleep that is constantly interrupted.  As hard as this might be to believe, some of the healthiest people are getting 7 -9 hours of uninterrupted sleep daily.  

The health benefits are remarkable in reducing stress levels, increasing energy and improving attitude. 

Finding the balance for exercise may prove to be a bit of a challenge for many people who spend long hours at the office.  No matter what the research says, people tend to disregard the findings that clearly state there is a slide of diminishing returns when one works past 40 hours.  The research claims you are not as productive after 40 hours as you were before.  Be that as it may, try to fit some extra walking in during your day.  

Learn to be creative, try a walking meeting instead of sitting for one or take the stairs instead of the elevator. If you have an office and can close the door, think of doing some pushups in between calls or you can even try the 7 Minutes workout – an App on your smart phone.  I have found a wearable device, such as Fitbit to be incredibly motivating.

Finally, refer to Habit 3 – Kitchen first, gym second to consider how to make healthier nutritional choices.

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

7 Habits of Highly Fit People #3 - Kitchen First

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it!
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

Getting your body in shape starts in the kitchen.  As much as I don’t like to admit it – the saying holds true – you are what you eat!  So dump the processed sugars, reduce your caffeine intake, moderate the alcohol or just try starting to consume water as your only beverage.  I know it sounds harsh but you just might be surprised at how much different your food tastes.  Explore a bit on foods that you would enjoy and that are healthy for you.  Rubs and spices can enhance the flavor to something you could really enjoy. 

I think one of the biggest problems people can have with this habit is in regards to taste.  Many of us complain that eating healthy does not always taste good or delicious.  This is one area that pays off with huge dividends if we are willing to research a little and expand our network to possibly include a nutritionist and/or consult with a chef.  

Personally I have learned to substitute spinach for all my salads and incorporate fresh fruits in along with protein sources such as chicken.  There are many great Apps for the smartphone to help make good nutritional decisions.

To connect with me personally, visit the contact page at SexHealthDoc.com.

The 7 Habits of Highly Fit People #2 - End Goal

1. Get started!
2. End Goal – weight or waist size or body image?
3. Kitchen first, gym second!
4. Win-Win-Win by balancing nutrition, exercise and rest!
5. Listen to your body – don’t over fuel it or over work it
6. Learn what others are doing and share what works for you – synergize!
7. Learn as much about nutrition and fitness as you are interested in!

Besides the Zig Ziglar quote pictured here, I like Tony Robbins quote – 'setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible!’  I encourage you to get a vision of what you want to look like or feel like and then never lose sight of it.  Make a picture board of images that represent your goal as a daily reminder to you of your destination.  Don’t give up on yourself – people that are successful are willing to do what unsuccessful people are not! 

The END GOAL in mind is like following a recipe.  If you are good at guesstimating how much needs to go in then you can “wing it” and get the results without a tight structure.  However, if you are one of those people who are more successful in following a stricter path, then by all means follow the directions – set a weekly workout and nutrition schedule.  This is all a matter of preference and one way is not necessarily better than an other when it comes to the results that you are looking for and will be happy with.